Tag Archives: sm

Dressed as a Liberal

I once briefly dated a chap who turned out to be an active member of the openly-racist National Front. I think he’d known how I’d react, so he’d deliberately kept his beliefs very quiet until one evening, when he got drunk and careless, broke cover, and tried to recruit a friend of mine who worked for the Home Office. Being a Guardianista myself, I was utterly horrified, and felt a bit queasy about the thought that I’d had sex with a proud ignoramus. I was surprised how much his politics actually physically disgusted me, and had to take a long look in the mirror to figure out why.

Pj O’Rourke once said “I have often been called a Nazi, and, although it is unfair, I don’t let it bother me. I don’t let it bother me for one simple reason. No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed an sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal.”

Yet I found the opposite to be true in this case. This man actually believed and promoted ideas that were not only harmful, but also completely illogical, primitive, ill-thought-out and more akin to those of a monosyllabic thug than the man he’d briefly seemed to be, and this gave me the unsettling feeling that he was mentally defective in some way. He was secretly a creature so unfathomably stupid that he hadn’t even evolved past the basic caveman prejudice that one’s own tribe is somehow more human than its neighbouring tribe. We all have the inherent drive to claim and territorialise our space, to metaphorically piss in corners like a tomcat and fear the outsider – especially if that outsider has a different skin tone, speaks in a different language, calls his god by a different name, calls his god by the same name but believes something subtly different about the transubstantiation of bread and wine, has black hair, has blonde hair, has ginger hair, has blue eyes, green eyes, brown eyes, bloodshot eyes, or wears a different coloured football shirt – yet most of us realise that we’re not mindless animals and quickly grow out of that mentality, don’t we? I’d somehow ended up shagging a knuckle-dragging thicko and hadn’t even realised it! Did failing to notice his towering stupidity make me even stupider than him? Had I been outwitted by a halfwit? Was idiocy contagious?

Anyway, I ditched him immediately and went home to burn all my clothes, bathe in disinfectant, and shout EWWWWWWWWWW into the mirror for many, many hours.

The Interval

After the excruciating pain of the flogging, and with his throbbing balls still trapped in the Humbler, Ms Slide’s slave is examined thoroughly. She strokes his welts and tends to his wounds before his next ordeal.

3:07 18.8MB

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Violent Femme

In an interview with the Independent on Sunday in late 2006, author Ian Rankin accused women, especially lesbians, of writing the most violent scenes in contemporary fiction. Despite the multitude of gents who construct scenes of unbridled butchery on their pages, Rankin insisted that most male crime writers would “flinch morally from over-describing an act of violence against a woman, a rape, murder or whatever.”

Yet I haven’t seen a lot of flinching in the works of men. I’ve read some detailed and often starkly beautiful depictions of violence in the works of Brett Easton Ellis, James Ellroy, Anthony Burgess, and even Rankin himself. Val McDermid, author of the popular “Wire In The Blood” series, listed Stuart MacBride, Allan Guthrie, Chris Simms, John Connor and John Connolly off the top of her head when confronted by Rankin’s theory that graphic violence in literature was the exclusive premise of women. It doesn’t seem the case that there are more women, lesbian or not, writing about the darker aspects of the human psyche – rather that it’s just expected of men, and the idea of such scenes emerging from the imaginations of women somehow disturbs us enough that we should notice them.

When a female commits a crime, fights a war, or reveals in any way that her mind is not the fallow, nurturing idyll we assumed it to be, then we are outraged. It just isn’t in the public perception that anyone but a man could even contemplate the factors surrounding an act of violence, let alone put them into words and publish them. “There’s a profound disassociation, it seems to me,” says McDermid, “as if somehow it’s wrong for us to be writing about violence against women, as though somehow we need permission to write about violence against woman.”

In BDSM role-play, male dominants don their leather waistcoats, slip executioners’ hoods over their faces, and merrily play the part of dangerous, predatory monsters without any questions asked. Whereas women aren’t taken nearly as seriously. The mainstream perception of the Dominatrix is that of a buxom female in a titillating catsuit, showing off her boobs and bum and indulging in a bit of gentle spanking whilst giggling inanely about naughtiness. Doms get to be sadists, while Dommes have to remain non-threatening, smutty, seaside postcards. I admit that I’ve been guilty of inadvertently reinforcing this stereotype as much as anyone, mostly for reasons of finance and personal insecurity: I couldn’t imagine turning up to a session without make up and heels; although I’ve enjoyed indulging in a bit of CBT and ballbusting, I often find myself editing this part out of my conversational patter for fear of being misconstrued as a man-hater; and, most of all, I admit to having used sexual allure to my own advantage on many occasions.

Yet I’m as twisted as anyone, male or female, and enjoy writing and behaving in a way that shouldn’t be censored by gender. And, like McDermid, I’m regularly confronted with other people’s horrified reactions when I do.

Male critics have often tried to dismiss women who are fascinated by the macabre. If a woman has short hair and wears flat shoes, the violence in her nature is dismissed as being some kind of angry lesbian thing. Well, as a female bisexual in lipstick and stilettos, I can confirm that it isn’t. It might be hard to believe, but even girly girls have the capacity for imagining, writing, or even committing violence, and being absolutely brilliant at it.

The way I feel about wonderfully-written violent prose, whether penned by boy or girl, can be summed up rather well in comparison to the gruesome yet exquisite items of medieval torture equipment that Val McDermid encountered when researching her novel “Mermaids Singing”:

“The thing that freaked me out,” she said, “was not the damage they could do but the fact that they were beautifully made. That is what made the hairs stand up on the back of my head – that people had taken the time to make these things beautiful.”

My sentiments exactly.

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