It was 4am at Club Rub and the wonderful Countess De Jager said: “you really must warm them up before a caning!”

The submissive was bent over the spanking bench, and he was already squealing at the initial couple of smacks from my beloved acrylic cane. I’d started harder than I’d intended to. This happens a lot. I just see a pair of buttocks right there in front of me and find it hard to resist bruising them straight away. That startled look on the sub’s face gives me such a thrill. They’re expecting a soft start, but I go straight in with the shock-and-awe treatment, then pull back to admire my work as they bask in its afterglow.

“Yeah, I know I should be gentle at first,” I conceded. “It’s just I get carried away and blow my load too quickly.”

“You see, without the warm-up, what happens?” The Countess has an endearing schoolmistress-like quality to her voice.

After a silence, I realised I was expected to say something. “Massive purple haematomas?”

“Well, yes…?” She was evidently expecting a different answer, nodding encouragement for me to try again. “And?”

“Erm…?”

She sighed. “It’s all over too quickly!”

“Ah.”