Sky Semantics and Holly Sampson

Today, I was pointed in the direction of this article on the Sky News website. It annoyed me. It wasn’t the needless journalistic intrusion into a stranger’s marital problems that made me angry. It wasn’t even Sky’s assumption that I would care where Tiger Woods, even before he got married, has ever put his cock. What irked me was the word “apparently”.

“Seven women have come forward to say they have had liaisons with the 33-year-old – the latest a star of bondage and sex films. According to The Sun, 36-year-old Holly Sampson told an internet radio station that she slept with Woods in 2004, before he married his wife. Sampson is apparently well known on the adult entertainment circuit for her roles in soft porn films.”

Yes, apparently. Put her name into any search engine and it becomes clear that she is an accomplished hardcore porn actress and fetish model, specialising in abduction fantasies, bondage and foot worship shoots, as well as appearing in mainstream films and television throughout the ’90s. Those righteous souls at Sky could easily have looked up her CV on the brow-moppingly-safe-for-work IMDB, or got a wealth of spotlessly clean information on her career through a Google SafeSearch. Hell, there’s even a Wikipedia entry. They needn’t burn their retinas away with hours of internet smut to find out that yes, Holly Sampson is indeed “well known on the adult entertainment circuit”. Yet they still chose to put the word “apparently” in their sentence. The subtext is, of course, that their minds are constantly on higher matters and they wouldn’t degrade themselves enough to fact-check a story on someone in the adult industry lest their journalistic integrity be marred by something as filthy and depraved as – gasp – research!

And yes, I know that I appear to be overreacting to simple semantics. I know. Yet I feel that it’s important to highlight the creeping vine of neopuritanism wrapping itself around mainstream journalism. Foxification is taking over. I see it happening everywhere, and nowhere more so than across Murdoch’s own News Corp network. As print media and news empires struggle to survive in an information-saturated world, they turn to simplistic tabloid moralising to sell their wares, and it’s dangerous. When a news proprietor’s personal prejudices and political leanings are presented as “fair and balanced” reporting then it’s time to question everything that they tell us.

Anyway, I feel somehow tainted after having subjected you to a Sky News hyperlink, so I’ll cleanse my karma by also offering you an absolutely massive high-resolution picture of Holly Sampson’s foot from Click the thumbnail below to enlarge.

Brown Out

So, Derren Brown came out. He is officially a gayer. I say this now because it was in The Sun last week (for those outside the UK, this is a Murdoch-owned tabloid gutter rag that is, on most occasions, sensationally inaccurate.) However, he did previously come out in a small self-penned article in the Independent colour supplement last Autumn, but nobody noticed or particularly cared until The Sun decided to stick their ugly little oar in.

From Brown’s Facebook page:

Second coming

10:21pm Wednesday, Apr 23

For anyone confused as to why Derren would seem to be ‘coming out’ again, and this time to the tabloids: the article in the Sun yesterday was something of a surprise. Derren had answered a couple of questions from a Sun journalist within a half-hour interview about the TV series, that were concerned with why he discreetly mentioned all that man-on-man business in the Independent a few months ago. Derren politely answered that it was a necessary evil: not really anyone’s business, but if you don’t do it then it becomes perceived as a secret. The Sun then printed this as if Derren had chosen to come out there and then to them, complete with ‘Exclusive’ across the top of the article. As if. Other papers then picked up on this, and suddenly it was new news.

So, yes, for those who thought it was a bit odd and tacky, it was.

I’ve admired Derren Brown for a very long time, and I admire him even more for his courage in coming forward to proclaim to the world that he’s a gentleman’s gentleman. I admire his work, his style, his sense of humour, and – as a few of you may know – I’ve had something of a crush on him for several years. This wasn’t a conventional crush, as some of you may also know: these fantasies were normally of a voyeuristic nature, and would usually involve me watching him being forced to pleasure a dominant man – this particular man often being my straight but open minded and entirely platonic friend Neil (who is arguably the most beautiful being ever to walk this earth). I informed Neil of my nefarious plans for Derren Brown once and he was flattered, if a little frightened, at the prospect. Even then, I must have had a subconscious inkling as to Mr Brown’s leanings, as the only other main fantasy involved myself, a strap-on, and the violation of his tender manhole. (Speaking of which… click!) Anyway, here’s a favourite YouTube clip of mine from his “Something Wicked This Way Comes” stageshow. Incidentally, this clip also started a debate on a number of forums as to whether or not he was sporting an impressive erection after the initial bout of public self-asphyxia, and possibly throughout the extreme trampling session (and let’s face it, my dears – who wouldn’t..?) Derren Brown, we salute you.


derren brown self asphyxia


Derren Brown, looking beautiful