The word “slut” can be divisive. I never use it to describe women, as it’s been used as a tool of oppression for far too long. However, when it comes to men, I love to subvert expectations and tease a shag-happy gent with jibes of “you’re such a slut!” or “you massive slag!” or “I bet you’ve worn your knob down to the width of a Peperami, the number of holes you’ve stuck it in!*”.

For this reason, I’m delighted to be attending Ms Tytania’s Grand Slutathon. It’s a CFNM (clothed female, nude male) party in sumptuous surroundings where we stick it to the man with a spot of lady-on-chap strap-on fun and “forced” male bisexuality. Click here for more details, and click here to read my interview about taking men up the tradesman’s.

*Yes, I know that a penis doesn’t actually erode through overuse, but using it as an insult makes exactly as much physiological sense as a man telling a woman that her vagina loosens when she has sex with lots of different men. Yes. We’ve all heard men say that about women they consider to be “sluts”. The only thing to make a lady-hole go temporarily saggy is having a small human’s entire body pushed out of it. Gentlemen, unless you’ve got a knob the size of a fully-formed baby, it will make no change whatsoever to the elasticity of a woman’s vagina.