2013 Amendment: I’ve been informed that bankers are unfairly misjudged and lumped together as *all* being dick-swinging, coke-addled narcissists, when only *lots* of them are. Some clarification here. I don’t want to generalise. If you’re a banker who isn’t horrible, you’re welcome to come and convince me by putting your money where your mouth is (most probably somewhere near my feet). I’m an open-minded sort, you know…

It’s 2012 now, and this offer is technically over, but if you mention just how much of a non-banker you are in your introductory email, we may be able to come to some arrangement…

2011:

Are you a banker?

Inspired by the proposed “Robin Hood Tax”, London Dominatrix Ms Slide is launching the “Bankers’ Confessional”. Of course, not every banker is a swaggering, braying, coke-addled dickhead, just as not every swaggering, braying, coke-addled dickhead is a banker. Yet there are some individuals in the financial sector who remain substantially wealthier and less bruised than they deserve to be under the circumstances. As a relatively ethical Sadist, it’s Ms Slide’s job to even things up.

In exchange for their wads of cold, hard, dirty cash, bankers who volunteer for The Confessional will be invited to the Gatwick dungeon to explain and apologise for their own foolish excesses. They will then receive a suitably humiliating punishment.

Are you anyone else…?

Good news! Profits received from swaggering, braying, coke-addled dickheads will go towards heavily discounted sessions for people who aren’t bankers, or at least who aren’t swaggering, braying, coke-addled dickheads. For a limited period, Ms Slide’s hourly rate will be a lot less than usual. Get in touch for further details.

slide@sliderulesyou.com