*2019 edit – past me was pure whorearchy. Fuck that shit. I was talking from a place of idiotic privilege in this post (ironically, I was totally broke, but would never have owned up to it at the time as Dommes are supposed to radiate a certain level of power and control, which includes financial security, even if it’s bullshit. Anyway, here’s my post from the past, which was basically marketing.

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People both inside and outside of BDSM have strong opinions about Pro-Dommes. It’s often said that when domination is paid for, it becomes a service industry. By accepting money from a client, the Domme is negating any authority she has over him and has to pander to his requirements, and is therefore a prostitute of sorts.

I can only speak for myself and the other Pro-Dommes I’ve worked with, but we get paid to do exactly what *we* want. The majority of clients who approach me for sessions are turned down. I could be very rich if I were to take on those whose fantasies didn’t interest me, or those who had the wrong attitude, or simply didn’t say please in their introduction. I live a financially modest lifestyle because I’m picky.

Otherwise, the sub would have control and the power dynamic would have become decidedly squiffy. It’s interesting to explore a client and discover where the sensitive points inside his (or her) head are, but ultimately, the Domme chooses what she wants to do in the session, and ultimately who she sessions with, and no cheeky bugger ever, ever, EVER gets to make demands of her. I’m willing to forego the mansion and the Bentley in favour of my own dignity.

The practical study of desire and excitement is something that beats in my chest, fills my lungs, and runs through my veins, and getting to live it full-time is a wonderful thing. If I became a scene purist and ceased to charge for sessions, I’d have to take on a vanilla job, and inevitably, no matter how far up the hierarchy I was, I’d have a boss. A boss! A boss who isn’t me! I’d be underpaid, knackered, and frustrated. Why on earth would anyone want to do that? That, for me, would be prostitution.