This poem, from “Literary Sexts” by Caitlyn Siehl, rather beautifully sums up the fantasy of the Domme as a destructive force. I’m often contacted by people who want (or, at least, have the fantasy of wanting) to be emotionally dismantled. Many kinds of risk are exciting. Masochism isn’t just physical. Sometimes, the idea of unrequited love, humiliation and heartbreak is more tantalising than palpable injury.