Thanks to the Press Association, Yahoo News and – most of all – Mistress Satine for this story:

“A man who went to casualty with his penis stuck in a steel pipe had to be cut free by firefighters using a metal grinder.

They turned up with a special equipment unit from St Mary’s station in Southampton and seven firefighters to help in what a spokesman said was a “delicate operation”.

The firefighters used the four-and-a-half-inch grinder to cut the pipe from around the man’s penis and it took about 30 minutes.

The patient was given an anaesthetic and his penis was left bruised and swollen but otherwise unharmed.

The anxious man, aged about 40, gave hospital staff no explanation about how the pipe got stuck after he turned up on Tuesday morning.

A Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service spokesman said: “Initially the crew did not have the appropriate cutting equipment to free the man.

“It was a very delicate operation that required a very steady hand and the crew was worried about things getting too hot during the cutting.

“It’s certainly an unusual call-out and I’m sure the man won’t be getting into that situation again.”