A great, open-minded agony aunt piece in today’s Graun from Pamela Stephenson, clinical psychologist, psychotherapist and former “Not The Nine O’Clock News” lolmaker:

‘If you’re simply being attracted to an unusual sexual style you needn’t feel ashamed, says Pamela Stephenson Connolly:

“I’m a 22-year-old female student and have been addicted to porn since I was 17. I haven’t told my long-term boyfriend, although we recently started watching it together. The more I watch it, the more intrigued I get about deviant sexual behaviour. I feel guilty and ashamed. How can I stop?”

You’re highly judgmental about your interest in erotica, and I wonder what makes you think it’s an “addiction”. Is it the type of sexual behaviour, or the amount of time you spend watching it?

“Different” sex is intriguing and lures millions of people to view it. Aside from ethical concerns about the porn industry, many believe there’s nothing wrong with watching legal material depicting sexual acts between consenting adults – although perhaps what you’re viewing lies outside that description. You’ve used the pejorative term “deviant” but I can only guess at your meaning. If it’s BDSM (bondage, domination, sadomasochism), then relax – it’s actually quite common, many people find it exciting, and it can be played in a safe, sane and consensual manner.

If your porn-viewing habit is seriously affecting your ability to function at work or in your life generally, or if it’s likely to get you into trouble, seek therapy to stop. But if you’re simply being drawn to an unusual sexual style, be more accepting of your erotic journey.’

Original article here.

From Ms Magazine:

‘“Really? Girls wrestling with boys? Has feminism really lost its mind?” So goes the question from Catholic blogger Defend Us in Battle, writing about Joel Northrup’s decision to withdraw from the Iowa state wrestling tournament rather than compete with female opponent Cassy Herkelman…’

Yup, it seems that a lot of chaps on the internet have got themselves in a tizzy about the idea of mixed wrestling and, in particular, a recent competition in which a young man forfeited his match against a (highly competent) young woman for “religious reasons” (and not at all because he was scared of being beaten by a female, of course).

“As a matter of conscience and faith,” said the youth, “I do not believe that it is appropriate for a boy to engage a girl in this manner.”

His decision was applauded by crazed misogynists across the internet. One of the most ridiculous commentaries came from a site called True Manhood which, at a first glance, seems to be a blog for muscle-bear fetishists but is actually an archive of religious rants from two big, butch muscular, manly, macho men talking about masculinity. When not talking about their own maleness, they seem fixated on damning homosexuals, pornographers and abortionists. Oh, and feminists, lest we forget. These are two chaps who certainly don’t want to wrestle with women:

‘I’d say that it goes back to our creation as men. It speaks to the heart of a man. Deep inside every man is a sense of wildness, a rugged “warrior” drive and our natural inclination towards adventure. There’s nothing natural inside a man that says “I should my brute strength to pin a woman to the floor to win a tournament.” In the history of wrestling, dating back to the ancient Greeks, men and women never wrestled one another. In fact, women never wrestled at all. Females wrestling is a pretty new invention.’

Actually, women have always wrestled, against both male and female opponents – the girls of Ancient Sparta were famous for it. Then again, the True Men who run the site also think that Hugh Hefner invented pornography, so historical accuracy isn’t exactly their strong point.

Anyway, here’s the Ms Magazine article with its own links and commentary. If you want to learn more about women’s wrestling in a sporting context, you might enjoy a look at Women Wrestling. (p.s. If, like me, you’re also a shallow pervert and like women’s wrestling in a very, very, very sexual context, you might enjoy a look at Ultimate Surrender.)