A great, open-minded agony aunt piece in today’s Graun from Pamela Stephenson, clinical psychologist, psychotherapist and former “Not The Nine O’Clock News” lolmaker:

‘If you’re simply being attracted to an unusual sexual style you needn’t feel ashamed, says Pamela Stephenson Connolly:

“I’m a 22-year-old female student and have been addicted to porn since I was 17. I haven’t told my long-term boyfriend, although we recently started watching it together. The more I watch it, the more intrigued I get about deviant sexual behaviour. I feel guilty and ashamed. How can I stop?”

You’re highly judgmental about your interest in erotica, and I wonder what makes you think it’s an “addiction”. Is it the type of sexual behaviour, or the amount of time you spend watching it?

“Different” sex is intriguing and lures millions of people to view it. Aside from ethical concerns about the porn industry, many believe there’s nothing wrong with watching legal material depicting sexual acts between consenting adults – although perhaps what you’re viewing lies outside that description. You’ve used the pejorative term “deviant” but I can only guess at your meaning. If it’s BDSM (bondage, domination, sadomasochism), then relax – it’s actually quite common, many people find it exciting, and it can be played in a safe, sane and consensual manner.

If your porn-viewing habit is seriously affecting your ability to function at work or in your life generally, or if it’s likely to get you into trouble, seek therapy to stop. But if you’re simply being drawn to an unusual sexual style, be more accepting of your erotic journey.’

Original article here.