I’ve often complained that some foot fetishists can’t see beyond our feet. As something of a Femdom idealist, I like to think a gent would worship the ground I walk on because he adores me, or at least because he adores what I represent to him as an archetype – and not just because I happen to be attached to a pair of feet that he covets. Sadly though, this isn’t always the case.

Late into the evening at the last Club Pedestal, in an anomalous breech of subby etiquette, one chap swooped in to slobber over my shoe. He appeared to be in the grip of some kind of crazed foot-frenzy. He didn’t ask first, glance at my face, or even introduce himself. Delirious, he just dived straight for the feet. Of course, I gave him a swift kick to the chest and explained his mistake, as it was a lesson he had to learn for everyone’s sake. He was deeply apologetic and left, spell broken, head hanging.

Anyway, I have a recommendation for those hapless men who find the feet desirable, but find the woman herself incidental: today, I discovered “Belladonna’s Foot Soldiers”. They are latex-free replicas of the erotic actress’ “titillating tootsies” (their words, not mine), but severed at the ankles like something you’d find in the aftermath of a horrible accident. These cold, dead, silicone-gel feet can be bagged or boxed and sent to you for you to do… well, whatever you’d want to do with disembodied bits of a doll. If these appeal, click here to order a pair from The Pleasure Chest website.

If, by any chance, the chopped-off feet of a porn star don’t turn you on, then you’d better remember not to take the owners of flesh-and-blood feet for granted. Fetishising a bit of someone’s body or clothing is all well and good, but becoming blind to everything aside from it is just irritating.

Never forget that a Domme is more than the sum of her composite parts. If you do, those parts will probably get up and walk away, feet and all.