My first nomination for the Jan Moir Award for Shoddy Journalism is this article by Johor Baru in Malaysia’s “The Star” newspaper:
“Police: Hairstylist died of heart failure during unnatural sex.
The hairstylist, who was found dead, naked, bound and gagged, died of heart failure brought upon by excessive excitement during an unnatural sex game. Nusajaya OCPD Supt Abdul Aziz Ahmad said the post-mortem showed that Tang Kin Kok, 49, had internal bleeding that could have been caused by sexual stimulation. He added that the victim also had multiple signs of penetration through his anus. “The heart failure could have been triggered as the victim became too excited when committing unnatural sex,” Supt Abdul Aziz said when contacted here on Monday. He said while the post-mortem showed no criminal element leading to the death, police had identified a few of Tang’s male acquaintances to assist in the investigation. “We are going to apprehend them soon,” he said, adding that anyone who knew the victim was encouraged to come forward. Supt Abdul Aziz urged anyone with information to contact the police hotline at 07-2212999 or the nearest police station. On Saturday, Tang was found murdered, naked, gagged and with his hands and legs bound, by a housemate in his room at a rented house in Bandar Selesa Jaya here, around 9.50pm.”
When a 49-year-old man dies during a particularly thrilling bout of bondage bumsex, it’s considered “murder”. Oh yes, he was just “too excited” and so his lover’s sexual skills killed him. The implication is that any other form of copulation simply isn’t exciting enough to cause cardiac arrest, and therefore safe. Yet thousands and thousands of heterosexuals suffer heart attacks and snuff it during conventional, lift-up-the-nightie, missionary-position sex every year – ask any paramedic. It’s far more common than you’d imagine. To die having sex is about as natural as natural causes come, whether the sex itself is straight, gay, vanilla, or kinky.
Separate mistakes in this article could be forgiven on the grounds of mistranslation and medical ignorance. Still, taken as a whole, it’s despicable. I therefore launch the Jan Moir Award for Shoddy Journalism and nominate Johor Baru as first entrant. Every journalist nominated will be sent a prize appropriate to his or her personal prejudices. In this case, it’ll probably be some form of butt plug or similar, sent c/o the newspaper. Give me a shout if you think of a good idea for Baru’s prize. More nominations coming soon. Feel free to submit your own.
