This. I’m sure most Dommes will be able to relate. (Thanks to Rebekka Raynor for the video.)

The meeting.

by: myrrhdusa

There’s something truly compelling about the idea of a female assassin. On YouTube, click on any clip of a dominant woman, and the related videos will inevitably lead you on a delicious – if slightly worrying – trail of scenes from films and television where attractive women kill their menfolk in ruthless and titillating ways. It’s a fantasy.

In reality, assassination isn’t quite the kick it seems on the screen: it’s just a death, same as any other. Yet in imagination and role-play, it’s undeniably hot. The femme fatale is a sexual meme that excites and inspires. Moreso than ever, the Assassinatrix is moving into the mainstream.

Here’s what The F-Word had to say last year about “Female Assassins All The Rage in Hollywood”:

“In Haywire, Gina Carano plays an assassin whose employers decide to terminate her. An extremely original plot? Perhaps not, but it still looks like one to watch out for, based on the trailer (below).

Incidentally, Carano is a mixed martial artist and used to be a Gladiator.

There seems to be a mini-spate of awesome action films starring women in recent years (Hanna and Salt spring to mind). Hollywood Reporter notes that the plot is also startlingly similar to the forthcoming Colombiana.”

Here are both trailers. Enjoy:

The other day, I had a good giggle at a blog post on Female Friendly Femdom: “Pornography, Love and Romance”. In it, its male writer uses his own brand of bewildering evolutionary psychology to explain why all women – apparently – hate porn. I disagree with nearly everything he says. Here are some highlights:

“…Most women prefer romance rather than pornography; this is because romantic stories are about the relationship between men and women. There is a very good reason for this. Once a woman becomes pregnant, then she is going to be better off looking after her child, if she can receive the help and support of the child’s father. So a romantic story of a man who falls in love with a woman, and loves her so much, that when she has children, he devotes his life to looking after her and her children. Is what most women want. This then, is why romantic stories are far more appealing to a woman, than pornography… One of the reasons why many women do not like pornography is that it is devoid of love. Women like romantic stories about love, but men are not so sure about this. The reason for this, is that, if you fall in love, then you are ‘hooked’. In other words if you deeply love another person, then you many find yourself devoting your life to caring about other people. For this reason, many men are wary about getting married, and forming relationships as they want freedom from this. This is also why men like pornography, because it is mostly about sex without love. Men do like to have fantasies about having sex with women, without having all the problems of loving relationships or having to care for children. Women on the other hand have no choice in this, it is far harder for women to divorce sex from love and the nurturing children…”

Actually, I detest romance stories. They’re insipid, contrived and I can think of few things less appealing to masturbate over. The assumption that women – yes, all women, a homogeneous mass of emotional sugar, spice and all things neurotic, devoid of individuality or deviation – can only find arousal from romantic love and the prospect of breeding with her sexual partner is deeply patronising. Women wank too, and certainly not over Mills and Boon. It still depresses me that pornography is seen as one single genre, not a spectrum of different representations of human sexuality. There’s bad, exploitative, universally harmful porn, and there’s good, stimulating, fair-trade porn. And, of course, there’s everything else in between.

To be told, by a man, that I must surely hate all porn and only enjoy depictions of romantic, potentially-procreative coupling because I’m a woman is not my idea of “Female Friendly Femdom”. Like many women, I enjoy kink. Dirty, thrilling, sexy kink that doesn’t have to involve flowers, chocolates, marriage proposals or anyone’s eggs being fertilised. I also enjoy good porn. And this brings me to the singular chunk of his article that I actually agree with:

“…It seems most women can only orgasm through direct clitoris stimulation, which means that the man has to either use his finger or tongue. Pornography is full of stories and videos of women giving men oral sex but there is not a lot about men giving oral sex to women. And even when that is shown, very few of it shows a man licking a woman’s clitoris until she orgasms. So for this reason, as far as women are concerned, pornography is only about men’s pleasure and not about what women enjoy…”

And that’s the rub. A lot of porn is a turn-off to women, but it has nothing to do with a lack of romance. It’s simply that the vast majority of women in porn scenes are having uncomfortable, unsatisfactory sex. Even the majority of femdom porn is aimed at a male audience and focused solely on the pleasure (or pain) of the man taking part. The woman, even if worshipped and superficially empowered, becomes nothing more than a sexless accessory. When the person you most relate to in a fantasy scenario just looks bored, it’s not exactly an exciting or erotic experience to watch.

I spent a long time last week searching for a porn scene – any porn scene, whether femdom, femsub or vanilla – in which a woman actually orgasms. Few exist. In the majority of heterosexual mainstream pornography, there are gallons of semen and a lot of noisy grunts, but a distinct lack of genuine female pleasure. In the end, I found various videos of women masturbating, as well as a few girl-on-girl orgasms, but almost no female satisfaction in a heterosexual scene. The men of porn, it seems, just aren’t up to the job. Or, at least, they aren’t making the effort. Readers, I challenge you to find me a porn scene where a man makes a woman have a real* orgasm. Do it. Now.

*Yes, a real one. Not just one of those painful hollers that a porn woman does, usually in an inexplicably American accent whatever her country of origin, while her fellow performer is jackhammering his erection into an orifice it doesn’t entirely fit into. That’s not an orgasm. That’s just her signal to make him stop. We want some clitoral stimulation. Lots of it. Find some links and post in the comments section. In the meantime, click here for an extended and very NSFW compilation of female orgasm clips from PornHub.