Tag Archives: politics

Sky Semantics and Holly Sampson

Today, I was pointed in the direction of this article on the Sky News website. It annoyed me. It wasn’t the needless journalistic intrusion into a stranger’s marital problems that made me angry. It wasn’t even Sky’s assumption that I would care where Tiger Woods, even before he got married, has ever put his cock. What irked me was the word “apparently”.

“Seven women have come forward to say they have had liaisons with the 33-year-old – the latest a star of bondage and sex films. According to The Sun, 36-year-old Holly Sampson told an internet radio station that she slept with Woods in 2004, before he married his wife. Sampson is apparently well known on the adult entertainment circuit for her roles in soft porn films.”

Yes, apparently. Put her name into any search engine and it becomes clear that she is an accomplished hardcore porn actress and fetish model, specialising in abduction fantasies, bondage and foot worship shoots, as well as appearing in mainstream films and television throughout the ’90s. Those righteous souls at Sky could easily have looked up her CV on the brow-moppingly-safe-for-work IMDB, or got a wealth of spotlessly clean information on her career through a Google SafeSearch. Hell, there’s even a Wikipedia entry. They needn’t burn their retinas away with hours of internet smut to find out that yes, Holly Sampson is indeed “well known on the adult entertainment circuit”. Yet they still chose to put the word “apparently” in their sentence. The subtext is, of course, that their minds are constantly on higher matters and they wouldn’t degrade themselves enough to fact-check a story on someone in the adult industry lest their journalistic integrity be marred by something as filthy and depraved as – gasp – research!

And yes, I know that I appear to be overreacting to simple semantics. I know. Yet I feel that it’s important to highlight the creeping vine of neopuritanism wrapping itself around mainstream journalism. Foxification is taking over. I see it happening everywhere, and nowhere more so than across Murdoch’s own News Corp network. As print media and news empires struggle to survive in an information-saturated world, they turn to simplistic tabloid moralising to sell their wares, and it’s dangerous. When a news proprietor’s personal prejudices and political leanings are presented as “fair and balanced” reporting then it’s time to question everything that they tell us.

Anyway, I feel somehow tainted after having subjected you to a Sky News hyperlink, so I’ll cleanse my karma by also offering you an absolutely massive high-resolution picture of Holly Sampson’s foot from HardcoreFootSex.com. Click the thumbnail below to enlarge.

Violent Femme

In an interview with the Independent on Sunday in late 2006, author Ian Rankin accused women, especially lesbians, of writing the most violent scenes in contemporary fiction. Despite the multitude of gents who construct scenes of unbridled butchery on their pages, Rankin insisted that most male crime writers would “flinch morally from over-describing an act of violence against a woman, a rape, murder or whatever.”

Yet I haven’t seen a lot of flinching in the works of men. I’ve read some detailed and often starkly beautiful depictions of violence in the works of Brett Easton Ellis, James Ellroy, Anthony Burgess, and even Rankin himself. Val McDermid, author of the popular “Wire In The Blood” series, listed Stuart MacBride, Allan Guthrie, Chris Simms, John Connor and John Connolly off the top of her head when confronted by Rankin’s theory that graphic violence in literature was the exclusive premise of women. It doesn’t seem the case that there are more women, lesbian or not, writing about the darker aspects of the human psyche – rather that it’s just expected of men, and the idea of such scenes emerging from the imaginations of women somehow disturbs us enough that we should notice them.

When a female commits a crime, fights a war, or reveals in any way that her mind is not the fallow, nurturing idyll we assumed it to be, then we are outraged. It just isn’t in the public perception that anyone but a man could even contemplate the factors surrounding an act of violence, let alone put them into words and publish them. “There’s a profound disassociation, it seems to me,” says McDermid, “as if somehow it’s wrong for us to be writing about violence against women, as though somehow we need permission to write about violence against woman.”

In BDSM role-play, male dominants don their leather waistcoats, slip executioners’ hoods over their faces, and merrily play the part of dangerous, predatory monsters without any questions asked. Whereas women aren’t taken nearly as seriously. The mainstream perception of the Dominatrix is that of a buxom female in a titillating catsuit, showing off her boobs and bum and indulging in a bit of gentle spanking whilst giggling inanely about naughtiness. Doms get to be sadists, while Dommes have to remain non-threatening, smutty, seaside postcards. I admit that I’ve been guilty of inadvertently reinforcing this stereotype as much as anyone, mostly for reasons of finance and personal insecurity: I couldn’t imagine turning up to a session without make up and heels; although I’ve enjoyed indulging in a bit of CBT and ballbusting, I often find myself editing this part out of my conversational patter for fear of being misconstrued as a man-hater; and, most of all, I admit to having used sexual allure to my own advantage on many occasions.

Yet I’m as twisted as anyone, male or female, and enjoy writing and behaving in a way that shouldn’t be censored by gender. And, like McDermid, I’m regularly confronted with other people’s horrified reactions when I do.

Male critics have often tried to dismiss women who are fascinated by the macabre. If a woman has short hair and wears flat shoes, the violence in her nature is dismissed as being some kind of angry lesbian thing. Well, as a female bisexual in lipstick and stilettos, I can confirm that it isn’t. It might be hard to believe, but even girly girls have the capacity for imagining, writing, or even committing violence, and being absolutely brilliant at it.

The way I feel about wonderfully-written violent prose, whether penned by boy or girl, can be summed up rather well in comparison to the gruesome yet exquisite items of medieval torture equipment that Val McDermid encountered when researching her novel “Mermaids Singing”:

“The thing that freaked me out,” she said, “was not the damage they could do but the fact that they were beautifully made. That is what made the hairs stand up on the back of my head – that people had taken the time to make these things beautiful.”

My sentiments exactly.

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Morality Check

In the wake of the Max Mosley affair, a new perversion has come to light. It’s a fetish that, I suppose, has always been around. Yet until now, it’s been confined to the shadowy corners. We hear it muttered and sighed across middle-class living rooms that smell of furniture polish and buttoned-up, sweaty repression. On rare occasions, it’s banded bawdily across the pubs, between emphatic thumps on the bar with tightly-clenched fists. Semi-comprehensible blurts appear on message boards, furtively typed in the Have-Your-Say section of the BBC News website. Oh yes my friends, that’s right – the real “English Disease” is the kink for moral outrage.

The wank-fodder is right there, in full view, in front of every corner shop, petrol station and news stand: “SICK NAZI ORGY!” shrieks the first headline; “HOOKERS!” the front pages promise; “MADDIE, DRUGS, MURDER, MUSLIMS, KNIVES, SHAME, EVIL, PAEDOS, TERRORISTS, IMMIGRANTS, SEX, SEX, SEX, and more SICK, NAZI SEX, PHWOAAARRR!” shout the rest in a cacophonous chorus of Right-Wing hysteria.

And just as the mainstream sexual fantasies of mens’ magazines – normally perky blondes who don’t grow pubic hair, have naturally airbrushed bodies, and are always up for a foreplay-free fucking – thrive for those who dearly want to believe them, the stunning factual inaccuracies of the morally outraged are printed and absorbed into the consciousness of a public who crave shock and fury, regardless of truth.

Firstly, I should point out that Max Mosley did NOT have a sick Nazi orgy with five hookers. None of the women were prostitutes*, there was no actual orgy, no Nazi theme, and it was not, in my opinion at least, sick. Just as the white English middle-classes are not a persecuted minority, paedophilia, violence, and scary foreigners are no more rife today than they have been for centuries, and the PC Brigade aren’t (and never have been) trying to steal Christmas and replace it with something called “Winterval”. However, mundane reality doesn’t get in the way of a satisfying moral rant-wank for the English complainer.

“We’re going to hell in a handcart!” squeals Mrs N. Petersfield gleefully from behind her stall at the village fete, showering saliva and vitriol across her wares and her audience.

“Throw away the key! Bring back hanging! Send ’em back! String ’em up! Bring back National Service!” snorts Disgusted Of Oxfordshire, rubbing his thighs with his clammy hands as he types, in explicit, barely-literate detail, what he’d like done with hoodies, asylum seekers, single mothers on benefits and, basically, anyone he doesn’t like.

“It’s an outrage!” puffs a retired Mr D. Hornett of Surrey as he masturbates furiously into a golf sock. “An outrage! A RUDDY OUTRAGE! AAAAAH!”

So, next time you’re drawn in by a headline that riles you, just examine what it is that made you want to read it in the first place. Remember that the moral highground is often an unsanitary place to to be. You may just find that your soapbox is just a tiny step away from a world of soggy argyle and self-loathing. Judge not, lest ye be judged – in this case, judged to be a bit of a wanker.

 

* Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Am just being pedantic about inaccurate reporting.

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